Day 192: Dreams, hopes, and scholarships
36yearsago.com
Vienna 1971—A Student Journal
A year of music, study, travel, sightseeing &
friends.
Day
192 — Dreams, hopes, and scholarships
10-February-1972
(Donnerstag–Thur.)
TRANSCRIPT
Another good day. Good horn lesson. And about 5-1/2
hours of electronic music—goes slowly.
Handed in my application for scholarships for next
year. Won’t find out till June—not expecting it.
Other future plans—will be sending in scholarship
form for this summer at Fontainbleu. My disadvantage
is my lack of composing, thus far, still hoping.
Fullbright info came today. In typical NYC style, not
even an acknowledgment letter. After reading
everything through, it seems that it might be best to
wait a few years (proceed with my Higher Ed.) and
then apply. Main idea: (1) Hopefully to begin study
of “conducting” (take years at night). (2) Continue
to study composition/El. Musik and compose (must have
a few works to my name). (3) Continue to learn
languages. If, these areas are well under way and I
have progressed sufficiently, then my chances for the
Fullbright—and what I could do with it—would be
greatly increased.
REFLECTIONS
Good
days. Several
good days in a row. Yes. Progress. Perhaps I have a
focus, a project, and a goal to keep me on track.
Scholarships.
I
obviously have a desire to continue studying music
and to learn the craft and art of composing. For this
to be real, I need to apply for scholarships. I am
applying to that very famous school of
composition—Fountainbleu—with Nadia Boulanger in
France, and for a Fullbright fellowship for advanced
graduate study. I think I may have passed on applying
for the Fullbright. In both cases, I did not yet have
the right experience, graduate work, and composing
credentials.
Hopes and dreams. Wow,
looking back at today’s post reminds me of my
youthful hopes and dreams—of studying, of wanting to
become a composer. It’s good to have dreams, to hope,
and to “work” towards your goals. I am doing that in
1972. I am doing that, slightly differently, ever
since and even to this day. So my advice to young
people is to do the same, but perhaps even better.
Take those first steps on your journey.
Choices. As you go
through life, there will be many choices and paths
offered you. Take the ones that make sense and that
you want to follow. Practical living comes into
play—we all have to work, make money, eat, pay bills,
raise families, and live. Not everyone can be a
Michael Jordan or a Mozart or Mahler. There are many
doctors and lawyers who are fine pianists, jazz
players, and rock guitarists. Each of us will find
our “spot.” Am I a composer? No, I have always
struggled with serious music and still find it
difficult. Have I written music I like? Yes, a lot of
it, especially in the pop/commercial genre. I liked
my Master’s Recital compositions. Have I given up?
No, I am always trying to be creative (also in
non-musical ways) as I move to new ideas.
Don’t
give up too early.
John
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